you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
