I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
