so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
