I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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