just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
