Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions