i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?