Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...