At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"