I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
