Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize