youre lurking in front of me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize