ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
