She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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