so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
