is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize