Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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