Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I supernannyed him into submission
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
