Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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