Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
