i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
