scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
