She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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