I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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