Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
