So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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