I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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