As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
