$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
