she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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