I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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