she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
