your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
