I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
