I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
