Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize