I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
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So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize