Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
