How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think people are normalizing furries
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
