An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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