my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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