I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
