Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
