You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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