I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
