just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Less talking, more tequila
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
