I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
