Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
