Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
