I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you never un-have a 4some
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
