bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
