So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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