this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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