i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.