oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize