I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
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i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?