I love black thongs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"