I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year