But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
