in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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