There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
