thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize