The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
