I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
