so explain again why im purple
no
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
