some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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