Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
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He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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