I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
