I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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