I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
