We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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