shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
